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Hey everyone. This is a short story that I wrote the other day. I’m just looking for feedback on how well my writing style comes across. Are there things that I do that you like? Don’t like? Just need to improve on? Anything you can tell me would be helpful. Word count: 400
She stared at the knife in her hand as if she expected it to tell her what to do next. When it didn’t, she continued what she was doing. Once, then twice, more, her arm shot forward. The knife found the lion’s belly each time. Her laughter broke the silence, alerting those around to her presence.
A bird, a friend of the lion perhaps, next felt her wrath. The lion roared, but it was very weakly. Three times, in quick succession, the knife came down on the bird. It fell to the ground. Seeing that it was no longer moving, she turned her attention back to the lion.
With one foot, she stepped on its head. It shifted under her foot, almost causing her to fall. This angered her. She shouted at it and kicked it hard in the mouth. The lion could do nothing but take it. Before long, the knife hit the beast another five times.
From off to the side, she heard someone talking. She ran to the closest place that offered cover. The voice got closer. Looking from behind her concealment, she saw that the voice belonged to a giant. It was easily three times as tall as she was. A smile crossed her face.
She ran out from her hiding spot and jumped at him. Even though he caught her easily, he still fell to the ground with her. Her squealing laughter almost drowned out the giant saying, “Oh no. You got me!”
“Da,” she cried, dropping the knife.
“You tackled Daddy,” he giggled along with her. When he was greeted by a string of unintelligible baby talk, he continued. “What are you doing in here? Playing with your toys?”
She pointed at the lion and bird. Another line of babble spilled out of her mouth. He wondered if she was trying to explain why she was attacking them with a plastic knife from her tea set. Of course, she also could have been saying nothing at all.
For a second, it hurt him that he would never find out. Then, she smiled at him and all thought of hurt left him. He picked her up and started spinning her around, soaking in the beautiful sound of her laughter.
Before you ask, yes, this is something that happened between me and my daughter. I just told it in my writing style. Hopefully, you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think.